In the past I have often remarked that crowds at England
matches were made up entirely of either racists or plastic fans. Thankfully,
along with the overwhelming majority of fans at Wembley on Tuesday night, I
fitted squarely in the latter category.
Even for competitive fixtures such as this Euro 2016
qualifier, there is no denying that the atmosphere and collective feeling around
the ground is one of showpiece football; a glamorous event of honorary
attendance in the same pantheon as a Harlem Globetrotters tour.
Come, one and all, see the stars of television and the
posters adorning your childhood bedroom wall ‘in the flesh’: Wayne Rooney, Joe
Hart... Jonjo Shelvey! Catch a glimpse (preferably through the lens of an
iphone) before they return to sporting Hollywoodland.
As soon as England’s captain notched his record breaking
goal tally from the penalty spot, wide-eyed and chino-clad spectators ascended
the stairways towards the exits, their faces glued to mobile screens as the
game concluded behind them. In their wake lay cardboard containers once filled with
burgers and hotdogs valued at the same price as a year’s education for a Zambian
child.
Welcome to England, and its sparkling citadel of wealth and
ambition, a Minas Tirith of misguided migration. London.
As visiting Swiss and
English feet marched their way across Wembley Way before kick-off, an American
preacher, dangerously armed with a megaphone, reprimanded us foolish footy enthusiast
for our ignorance of spiritual affairs. “Your sports stars cannot save you,” he
called into the infidel masses, “only the King of Kings can rescue you from
damnation”. ‘DO YOU KNOW GOD?’ screamed his strewn leaflets.
If anyone had actually been paying attention to this sadly
deluded miscreant, they might have been forgive for assuming he was talking
about Rooney. All media discussion before the match was on the Liverpool lad’s
imminent surpassing of Bobby Charlton as England’s highest goalscorer.
Never having been a particularly popular player among
supporters at a domestic level - even at his beloved Old Trafford home he has
reluctantly tolerated recent detractors – for the national side he carries all
dependant hope of success. Scandals have come and gone, yet even with a history
of disappointment on the biggest stage, he endures as the highest rated of our
soccer population.
As the game unfolded, the media showed no signs of changing
their top billing. Not a single press photographer positioned themselves behind
where the Swiss were attacking. Each scope was trained on the number nine’s
every move, waiting for the inevitable moment of glory to arrive.
Although Harry Kane’s breaking of the deadlock was warmly welcomed,
it remained nothing but a subplot compared to the clamour of excitement sparked
by the skipper’s late chance from twelve yards.
Despite the lessons of contemporary history, England now
appear a formidable team, at least against moderate opposition. Aside from some
wasted chances to open the scoresheet by Josip Drmic, the visitors offered
little resistance. The three lions played precise, pressing and patient tactics
that ultimately paid off with an eighth consecutive victory.
The squad’s detractors, nevertheless, will continue to be
displeased by an unspectacular performance without ‘entertainment’ across the full
ninety minutes.